Embrace reality and Deal with it - Ray Dalio
As a change manager, I recently held a half-day workshop for a department starting a period of significant change. The aim of the workshop was to give them tools to help them navigate this period effectively, which is corporate-speak for ‘enable the greatest number of employees to smoothly adapt to and sustain new working practices in the shortest period of time.’
That might raise an eyebrow. On one hand, it makes sense from a business perspective, but on the other, it can feel like ‘feeding the beast.’ Honestly, some days I’m not sure which side I’m on.
That said, change is everywhere—from massive global trends to the next breath we take. Ray Dalio’s quote, "Embrace reality and Deal with it," has stuck with me ever since I stumbled across his book Principles in a bookstore over a year ago. Let’s unpack it.
Embrace reality
I’ve learned that a lot of the ‘pain’ I experience comes from the gap between my idealized version of reality and what’s actually happening. The bigger that gap, the more discomfort I feel. This applies to everything, from the grander goals in my life—like wanting a successful blog but not making time to write—to the mundane: needing to hang clothes out to dry but feeling too tired to do it.
Every time I face that gap, I realize the quicker I can let go of my imagined reality and embrace the actual one, the less pain I cause myself.
And Deal with it
Sounds a bit harsh, right? In some cases, it is. Like when my youngest lost his house keys. Last seen when he emptied our trash into the communal trash bins. Embrace reality—the keys are probably in one of the bins. Deal with it—upend and sort through each large bin until I found the keys. Not glamorous but got a result!
But for me, deal with it is a positive phrase. It’s about gaining agency, about making a decision to act and, in doing so, influencing outcomes. Once I embrace things as they are, I can formulate a plan and act accordingly. I am not a victim. I am a player.
Over to you:
Where in your life are you struggling to embrace reality, and what’s the ‘pain gap’ it’s causing?
What’s one step you could take today to gain agency in your situation?